Dear Birthmother,

First, we would like to thank you for looking at our profile and possibly considering us for the adoption of your child. This time in your life may be very difficult and a bit awkward. You are a very strong and courageous person. Without birthmothers some people would never get the chance of raising a family that they, and ourselves long for. Because of that, we would always have a special place in our hearts and lives for you, if we were chosen.

We can not pretend to know how you are feeling or what you are going through, as you probably don't know what we have been through or how this journey makes us feel. With that said, we do know that we are compassionate and empathetic toward your feelings. We respect you and your decision. We believe their is a plan and in due time, it will all come together. Through all of this you may feel sad and empty, but there may be a little joy and comfort knowing that someone is caring and loving your child with all that they have. And that you have changed the lives and paths of a family that could not have done so without you.

Marissa's Childhood
I grew up in a small town, which we still reside in. My parents are still married, we just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary in June. I am the oldest child, I have a brother who is 26, and a sister who is 23. We are a very close family and speak to each other and visit often. My parents live about one mile away. My sister also lives close, and my brother lives in Indianapolis. Our childhood upbringing was pretty traditional. My dad worked and my mom was a stay at home mom until my sister was in junior high. I have many wonderful memories growing up. Family gatherings with our cousins, our yearly Wisconsin vacation, and days at the baseball park and the beach are just a few. We were very active children. My sister and I, were in dance classes and my brother played different sports. My siblings and I, along with our friends, would always find interesting things to do. We lived near a park and across the street from the cemetery, so there were always places to go and explore. We were always on our bicycles. In my school age years, I was active in lots of clubs and activities, and took pride in being a good student. I enjoyed being on the pom pom squad in high school and loved competing. I was also really into art. I enjoyed painting and drawing. I still enjoy it, but it is harder to make time for that now.
I had a relatively normal childhood and adolescence even though I was diagnosed with insulin dependant diabetes at the age of thirteen. I had no idea what diabetes was or what it entailed. No one in my family had diabetes at the time I was diagnosed, so I never heard of it. I still lead a very active and fulfilling life being diagnosed. I was much more aware of things that really didn't matter to me before. For instance, what I ate, taking shots, and testing my blood sugar. My mother was great though. At the time, I was annoyed, but she made me responsible and take care of myself. What teenager wants their mom in their face, let alone asking questions constantly. I did at times feel alone and different. I did not really know any other kids with diabetes, but I had great support from family and friends. I have grown into myself and accept what my responsibilities are. It is a way of life and it does not interfere. I take great pride in taking control of my life, my diabetes, and living a healthy life.

Another really cool story to tell is the time I went on the Oprah Winfrey Show when I was 17 with 12 other members of my family from my mom's side.My parents, grandparents and my aunts and uncles all went and it was an anniversary show. My Aunt April had written in about my Grandparents and there upcoming anniversary. Long story short, Oprah ended up taking the entire audience to Disneyland for four days. I was so excited! It was really the coolest thing I have ever done. Getting to meet and talk with Oprah was almost overwhelming. She really was very down to earth. We were treated like celebrities, and a couple times complete strangers would ask for our autograph just because we were there with the Oprah show. It was a neat experience. Not too many people are able to do something like that. We had a lot of fun, and I had never been to Florida or on a plane before so there were a lot of firsts for that trip. I have a lot of good memories from that experience. I am almost positive that I will not ever be able to do something like that again. I could go on and on about it.

Greg's Childhood
I grew up in the same town Marissa did. In fact I lived just on the other side of the park from her. I'm the only child to a single parent. My dad was never around, I heard he said he wasn't ready to be a dad. Aside from that I had a really good childhood. I spent most of my time either fishing or riding my bike. When my mom was at work my grandparents would watch me which was okay because there was lots to do at her house. There were plenty of other kids my age to play with and she lived next to a creek, so I could fish whenever I wanted to. We would also take a few trips a year to Tennessee. I have tons of family down there. It seemed like the whole trip was spent in the car, driving from one relatives house to the next, but I was always excited to go down there.
I think my childhood was good mainly from the hard work and sacrifice from my mother. She worked hard to make sure I had everything growing up. I think that is one quality that rubbed off on me. It's important for me to be able to provide for my family, and it makes me proud to be able to do that. My grandfather also affected me quite a bit when I was growing up. I think since my dad wasn't around I looked up to him as a father figure too. He passed away in June of 2001 from cancer. I have a lot of memories of me and him, but my fondest memories are the ones of our yearly hunting trips. It was kind of like "guy week." About thirteen of us would go to southern Illinois to a cabin with no running water and hunt and tell stories all week.

Other people that have been a big part of my life are Nina, Mark and the late Siri. They are originally from Thailand and became part of our family since before I was born. My Grandma worked at a nursing home in the 70's and became friends with Siri, who had started working there. Eventually my Grandparents had Siri and her husband Mark come live with them for a while so they could save up for their own house. They have always been involved with our family, at every holiday and birthday. When I was growing up I always went on trips with them and spent a lot of time with them. I even went to Thailand with them. Nina, their daughter, is a few years younger than me. She is like a cousin. Mark has since moved back to Thailand since Siri passed away in 2001 also from cancer. We keep in touch, and Nina is still living here and is going to get married in June.
These are just a few of my childhood memories. There are of course many more. But when I think back, I think I just grew up as a kid being a kid. That's about the best way I can think to put it.

A little about us...
We live in Greg's childhood home. It is a white Victorian house, with a big front porch. The backyard leads to a beautiful park. There are little league baseball fields, playgrounds and picnic areas, with the river surrounding the park. We live in a quiet, safe community. We plan on staying in this house forever.
We have three dogs, all dachshunds. There is Otis, our baby, he will be six in January, and Mable, who is four. Then there is Daisy, who we adopted, she is also six. We love our dogs very much and enjoy spending time with them. They are very loving and entertaining. They get along well with children, especially Otis. He loves playing with our niece and nephew. They are your typical lap dogs, they like to be played with and they love treats! They all like to go for walks, but Mable especially loves walks and playing outside. She will spend half her day outside looking at birds and squirrels. Daisy on the other hand mostly just likes to go outside when it is warm, so she can sit in the sun. Otis loves his toys and could play fetch forever. They all have very different personalities and are different in their own way. They are just the cutest little things!

Greg enjoys fishing, hunting, gardening and cooking. He also enjoys reading. I enjoy scrapbooking and doing all kinds of creative projects on the computer. I enjoy going to the beach and boating in the summertime. I also enjoy visiting with my sister and our niece and nephew. They come over for sleepovers every once in awhile, and we like to take them places and do fun things. They are very important and special to us. We like going on vacations and camping. We like to go out for dinner and to the movies. We also have get-togethers with our friends and family to visit and play games and stuff. We both also like antiques.
Greg works at an oil refinery. He works a twelve-hour swing shift. He has worked there for six years. He is working his way up to a supervisory position. I work as a registered nurse in the cardiac intensive care unit at a nearby hospital. I mostly take care of people who have open heart surgery. I also work twelve hour shifts, but part time. Working twelve hour shifts gives us more time to be home. My job is very rewarding at times and I have a very flexible work schedule. I enjoy being a nurse and caring for people. I have been a nurse for five and a half years.
Once a child is placed with us, I plan on taking three to six months off, and then working one to two days a week. My mother, sister, or Greg's mom will watch the baby, or I will work when Greg is off so he can have some quality time with the child.

Our Courtship & Marriage
We dated for about nine months before we got engaged. We got to know each other through mutual friends, but we knew each other prior to dating. I had told a friend of his that I was interested in him, because I was to shy and I knew he would tell Greg. That night Greg and I talked to each other for quite awhile and decided to go out on a date. It was really kind of funny, because we both liked each other and were to shy to say anything. I was just like a school girl all giddy and excited, and still am today! We both thought so much about each other, and had never been this excited before. I was actually the first girl to ever meet Greg's mother. I was honored by that.

We were always together from the minute we started dating, we couldn't spend enough time together, and when we weren't together we were on the phone or thinking about each other. We could talk for hours. We really enjoyed learning about one other. We talked about marriage early in our relationship. It may sound quick, but I knew Greg was the man I was going to marry after about two months. He had the same feelings also. He proposed in October 2000, the day before his best friend got married, and we were married one year later. It was very romantic, there were flowers, candles, music, and he was even wearing a tux! He was so nervous, I could tell because he was shaking so much and even went to grab the wrong hand to put the ring on. We were just overjoyed and couldn't wait to start planning for our wedding. Our wedding day was absolutely beautiful, and we had so much fun. There were about 200 people there and we had a large wedding party. We have been married for a little over four years. We have a very strong, loving, and affectionate marriage. We both take part in household responsibilities. He makes the messes and I clean them up. Just kidding, we try to work as a team. He likes to cook, so he does most of the cooking, which is fine with me! I actually get a lot of help from him which is great.

We get along really well, we balance each other out, I couldn't imagine it any other way. It may sound kind of silly, but we rarely argue and we never go to bed mad. If I'm down, he helps me up and vice versa. We are blessed to have such a wonderful marriage. We are very much in love with each other. We enjoy spending time with each other no matter what we are doing.

Infertility
We did invitro fertilization one time with no success, and had three other attempts canceled. I decided before the last cycle was even canceled, that I had made up my mind to stop the treatments. I had had enough of the needles and procedures and constant let downs. Adoption was reentering my mind frequently, and I had a feeling in my soul, that adoption is what we needed to focus on. After about three years of treatments we decided adoption was it. It may sound strange, but there were way to many strange signs and feelings that I was having to even consider further treatments. There were many low times in those years of fertility treatments, but I think Greg and I have grown as a couple because of that. We leaned on each other and supported each other through everything. Since we made that final decision to go forward with adoption, we could not be happier. We have realized that we just want to be a family, and it does not matter if our child is biological or not, we will love it just the same.

Marissa's thoughts on Greg
I think Greg is a very loving, caring and nurturing man. He is a great husband, friend, and son. He is very helpful, to me and others around. He is a hard worker and has a good head on his shoulders. I think his mother did a wonderful job raising a respectful and responsible man. I think Greg will be an awesome Dad. He is willing to learn, and will be a very hand's on father. I am very excited to see him be a father, it almost could make me cry. I know he is also very excited to do so. I could not say more about him. I am a very lucky woman to share my life with someone like Greg. He is a great provider and has a lot to teach a child. He is very laid back and calm, which will probably do wonders with children.

Greg's thought on Marissa
Marissa is the strongest person I've met. Through all the setbacks she's had in her life, she still manages to keep a positive and uplifting attitude. Another trait that I admire about her is that she is her own person. She follows the path that she sets for herself. I'm lucky that she has chosen me to walk down that path with her. I'm lucky that I get to wake up next to her everyday. I'm also lucky that she feels the same love for me that I feel for her. I'm blessed to be with someone who will make such a great mom. When I see her with our niece and nephew, it's obvious she's a natural at motherhood. She's very patient and nurturing. I'm looking forward to seeing her with our children. I just hope she's patient with me when she's teaching me how to change a diaper.

Religion
We do not attend church, but that does not mean that we do not believe in God or Jesus Christ. I was not raised in a religious family. Greg did attend church as a child. We can not say for sure if we will attend church. Right now we are currently learning more about God. I am growing spiritually more and more. We want to live our lives with the Lord, and we would like our children to be raised with those values. Religion has not really been a big part of our lives as a couple, but as we are going through this journey together, we are becoming closer with God. I am not sure if it is coincidence that this is starting to enter my frequent thoughts, since it is his plan for us to become a family through adoption.

Plans and Parenting
Our goal is to have a family. We want to raise a child in a stable, loving home. We love being Aunt Rissa and Uncle Greg, but we want to be Mommy and Daddy. We want to be able to do things as a family. We want to share our lives and knowledge with children. A child would add more joy and happiness to our lives. We are very excited to become parents, it is unexplainable. We plan on raising our children with respect and teach them to be respectful, courteous, caring people. We would like to raise a child to be a strong, confident member of society. We would like to instill in them the ability to make their own decisions. Education is also very important. Since we have had some time to watch some of our family and friends start families, we have learned some things about parenting and are ready to jump in. We have also had some time to think about the kind of parents we want to be. We would like to adopt again in the future, possibly end up with three children. Most likely a couple of years later. We look forward to family outings and vacations, as well as day to day life of having a family. Both sides of our family are extremely excited to the idea of us adopting and having a family. We have very supportive and helpful families.

Openness
Greg was very new to the idea of open adoption more so than I. We both learned a lot more about it and have become much more comfortable with it. We are not scared of it. Greg was more scared of the idea initially, but we have both come to realize the benefits of an open adoption. We would like to think and believe that it could end with a beautiful and meaningful relationship. The bond that can be formed from the outcome of this process can be amazing. The feelings of gratitude and thanks could never be expressed in words to the person or people who make our lives complete by blessing us with a child to love and care for. We would like to think of you as an extension of our family, and we look forward to getting to know you and having you learn more about us. Although we feel an open adoption is best for the child, we do respect the privacy and feelings of someone who is not so comfortable with that.

If you would like more information please contact Sunny Ridge Family Center.

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Marissa & Greg

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