Sunny Ridge Family Center
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Dear Birthparents,

Amy JoeThank you for taking the time to read our letter to get to know a little bit about us. We truly admire your strength, unselfishness, and the love you have for your child in making an adoption plan for your baby, as we have witnessed this firsthand with the birthparents of our son Jackson, who we adopted in January 2003. We are aware that this process of getting to know each other is a lifelong process through the gift of open adoption. We appreciate the care that you are taking to select a family that will give your baby all that you wish for them. We know that you want your child to grow up well cared for, in a loving family, with every opportunity to succeed. We can provide your child with a loving home, lots of hugs and fun times, and a good spiritual and moral foundation to help him/her grow up to be a happy, self-confident adult. We are thrilled and grateful that you would consider allowing us to welcome your baby into our lives!

About Us
We have been together as a couple for over fifteen years and will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary on November 11th. We are each other's best friends and have a relationship built on trust and mutual respect. We met through a mutual friend while we were attending different colleges in neighboring states. We dated long distance for 2 1/2 years while Joe finished his bachelor's degree in history and business from Illinois State and I earned her bachelor's degree in psychology from the University of Iowa and her master's in marriage and family therapy from Indiana State. We even graduated on the same day! The distance between us was just a couple of hours, but it really helped our relationship and commitment to each other grow stronger. We still value every minute we have together. We loved going to dinner and movies while we were dating, along with hanging out with friends, playing mini-golf, going to several concerts, playing darts, and even renting movies and playing board games. Living hundreds of mile apart early in our relationship along with our infertility struggles were two challenges that we have faced together as a couple.

Amy JoIn the end, we believe they each made us stronger as a couple and as individuals. Going through over five years of trying to conceive a child and undergoing extensive testing and treatment also really strengthened our desire for children as well as our appreciation for what a miracle they truly are. Our path to adoption was really quite natural. I remember asking Joe early in our relationship if we couldn't conceive a child for some reason, would he consider adoption? I was thrilled when he said yes because I could never imagine my life without children in it. So, when our infertility doctor told us that our odds of conceiving were as good as winning the lottery, that's all we needed to precede with adoption.

We contacted and met with an attorney downstate that specializes in adoption in July of 2002, went on profile in September, completed our homestudy on Halloween, moved into our new house Thanksgiving weekend, and were blessed with our son Jack through the miracle of adoption on January 3rd, 2003. We learned that a birthmother had selected us only ten hours before Jack was born (he was three weeks early). Upon hearing that he was unexpectedly born with a birth defect called gastreosis, a condition where the belly button doesn't close all the way and some internal organs are born on the outside of his body, we sat and prayed for the health of this baby whether the birthparents wanted to proceed with the adoption of not.

Amy Joe He was born in Champaign and life-flighted to Peoria for immediate surgery. Under the very skillful hands of Dr. Pearl, it was correctable with surgery and Jack spent 24 days in the NICU in Peoria. We met Jack's birthmother and her family the day after he was born, and met Jack the following day. We also met his birthfather in the hospital. We spent every week-end at the NICU, taking care of Jack and falling head-over-heels in love with him from the minute we saw him, when he was hooked up to all kinds of equipment, but the minute he opened his eyes and looked right at us, we cried and knew that we were meant to be his parents. That and the fact that only one month before Jack was born we had decided to change the name we had chosen for a son twelve years earlier to Jack, and Jack was the same name the birthmother had chosen (it was her grandfather's name). God really does work in mysterious ways!

Amy JoeThe doctors originally said he might be there for 1-3 months, but he was quite a little fighter. His health has been excellent ever since - he didn't even have his first ear infection until after his 2nd birthday. We have maintained an ongoing relationship with Jack's birthmother and her family, including pictures, letters, and visits. We have a completely open relationship with them -- they have visited our house and we have visited theirs. His birthmother maintains contact with his birthfather and shares our letters and pictures with him. He is currently serving in the Army and is stationed in Iraq.  We plan to maintain an ongoing relationship with them as long as everyone feels comfortable with it. We have had a wonderful experience with adoption so far and truly consider Jack's birth family as part of our extended family. We have always told Jack that he is adopted and have several books that we read to him that explain adoption on his level. Jack will say, "Remember Mommy, before I was born, I grew in Aubrie's tummy." And when we say our nightly prayers, we always add, "Thank you God for Aubrie - for giving us Jack."

Amy Joe

About Amy
I was born and raised in a small farming community in rural Iowa along with my five siblings - one older and one younger brother, followed by three younger sisters. I loved playing dress up and house with my girlfriends as a young girl. Of course, growing up between two boys, I also enjoyed playing football and riding bikes. Being the oldest girl in our family, I was very responsible and mature as a child.

Amy JoeMy mother went back to work when I was 12 and my youngest sister was a baby. She worked from 3 to 11, so I was responsible for making dinner, getting my three little sisters to bed and doing my own homework. I was raised with a strong work ethic, always having chores and getting my first job at age 12. I delivered newspapers, babysat, walked beans, detasseled corn, and waitressed all before graduating high school. Growing up in town with less than a 1000 residents, I attended the same school (at the end of our block) from kindergarten through 12th grade. I was, and still am to a degree, although much less now that I am a mother, rather perfectionistic. I was a very outgoing, self-motivated, and busy teen and have always been good at multi-tasking. In addition to my jobs and helping out at home, during junior high I was involved in band (I played the flute), choir, volleyball, basketball, track and musical performances. In high school I was active in band, choir, CYO (Catholic Youth Organization), yearbook, school newspaper, plays, musicals, and speech & drama club. For one year each, I was also in track, cheerleading and teaching CCD to 5th graders. I spent a lot of time with friends - going to movies, sleepovers, and cruising around in our cars (that's what you do in small townsJ). Even with all that going on, I was still able to maintain high honors status as schoolwork always came first.

Amy JoeFamily time was also important when I was growing up. We were all given chores and taught to pitch in. Our family followed a pretty set routine as far as homework, meals, bedtime, etc. We had curfews and rules regarding dating, wearing make-up, etc. We played games together as a family, rode bikes, and took camping trips throughout the summer months. We enjoyed fishing and hiking on those trips. We celebrated holidays with the extended families which both contain many cousins. I have always been especially close to my father. He has called me every Sunday night since I went away to college. We talk about everything; my siblings, our families, careers, religion, even politics. My entire family, with the exception of my youngest sister who lives in Omaha, still live in or around the town I grew up in. We travel back there a few times a year, usually for Thanksgiving (where we are also starting to celebrate Christmas), during the summer and then for any other significant event - graduations, weddings, milestone birthdays, family reunions. My youngest sister JoAnn and I are very close, probably because I took care of her so much during the first five years of her life. I actually started college the year she started Kindergarten, but we have always remained very close. I am also close with both of my brothers - Paul is two years older than me and Karl is two years younger. My middle sisters have both struggled with addiction issues and are currently in the early stages of recovery. I think because Beth and Carrie were also young when I left home and because they have chosen such different paths in their lives, we have never been close. We have seven nephews ranging from 25 (my older brother adopted his wife's son) to 4-years-old and three nieces from 15 to 5. Karl and his wife are also expecting their 4th baby in January. So needless to say, Jack loves spending time with all of his cousins and we value this since I too spent a lot of time with cousins growing up.

I have always put high standards on myself to excel - setting goals and reaching for them. I was determined to go to college and thankfully I was always an excellent student, earning scholarships for my last two years of undergraduate as well as my graduate degree where I finished top of my class, all while working 15-30 hours a week to pay for whatever the scholarships didn't cover. Unfortunately, although not much of a surprise to me, my parents divorced my freshman year of college after 21 years of marriage. Seeing how their divorce affected my younger sisters especially probably has a little something to do with the major I chose for college. I have worked as a marriage and family therapist in outpatient settings, partial and intensive outpatient programs, schools and employee assistance programs. I have worked in a faith-sensitive group private practice for the past six years. I currently see about 20-30 clients per week over a three to four day period. I really enjoy the flexibility and variety that my career offers me. I work with individuals, couples and families - children, teenagers and adults. I have also taught parenting classes in the past and currently speak to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups at local churches. Our practice is very family-friendly and allows us to set our own hours. I currently work Tuesday through Thursday and Saturday. As a marriage and family therapist, I have also had the privilege to work with numerous families and individuals whose lives have been touched by adoption, including birthparents years later, adoptive couples, and adult & child adoptees, which is another reason that I really value openness. I have also served as a volunteer for a national infertility and adoption organization in the past, first as a helpline volunteer for three years and then as a board member, serving as Co-Director of Education. That connection as well as my connection to Sunny Ridge through a friend who adopted her son through Sunny Ridge over five years ago has allowed me to make many friends that have built their families through adoption.

About Joe
I was born in Chicago, IL and lived in Hanover Park for the first four years of my life. At the age of four my parents and I moved to Memphis, Tennessee. My family and I returned to Chicagoland, specifically Arlington Heights, when I was 14 years old. Being an only child, I was very responsible and mature as a child. From the age of ten when my mother returned to work, I was a "latch key kid" after school. I would come home, do my homework, and start preparing dinner. I was at that time, and still very much, an independent person. Growing up, I became involved in numerous sports, including soccer, baseball and football. I also began building models with my dad at an early age and picked up a voracious reading habit from my mom, both which I have attempted to continue with today. Accomplishing goals has always been an important value in my family growing up. My parents always expected me to work hard in whatever I was involved in, from school, to sports, even to my hobbies of model building and reading. Their goal was not for me to be perfect, just to give my best in what I did and when I did, they were always supportive of the outcomes. I have always been close with my father. I believe that comes from being an only child and doing just about everything with my dad growing up, from working on the car to yard-work and him coaching my soccer team early on. He was always there for every game, cheering the team and me on, usually to victory. Today we enjoy golfing together, going out for dinner for burgers or sushi, or just hanging out and talking.

I always had responsibilities around the house while growing up. I was also encouraged to participate in after-school sports and activities. My parents, especially my mom, followed a set routine as far as homework, meals and bedtime, etc. I had curfews and strict rules regarding dating, friends at the house, and hanging outside of home with friends. Each summer, we would all take a family vacation. We celebrated most holidays together with the extended families by driving to them or vice versa. I can still remember the long drives between Memphis and Chicago, reading the map and telling my Dad where we were and how long it was to the next town. My mother being Jewish, and my father Catholic, I grew up in a house with two distinct, but compatible religions. My parents not pick a religion for me, but waited for me to be old enough to choose the religion that best suited me. As I attended a private Catholic Elementary School, the choice was an easy one for me to make. At the age of five, I was baptized in the Catholic faith. Being at an age to readily understand the concepts behind religion and being immersed into it on a daily basis, it became a large part of my life and my family's. Going to church five days a week and Sunday, along with becoming an Altar Boy, truly showed me that True Path. This, along with family, friends, Cub/Boy Scouts, road trips back to Chicago to see relatives, vacations, and sports (football, baseball and my passion at the time, soccer) filled my life with joy from an early age. My parents currently live within minutes of our home and remain a very important part of our lives. They love spending time with Jack and frequently ask to keep him overnight so that Amy & I can have a night out alone.

I grew up and started my scholastic career in Memphis, TN at a Catholic Elementary school where I attended 1st through 7th grades. Moving back to Illinois when I was 14 and being the "Yankee" from down South with a bit of a funny accent was a difficult transition at first. Playing on the school's soccer team and joining the Youth Groups at the local Catholic and Evangelical Free Churches helped me make new friends quickly. After some time, I gravitated towards the Evangelical Free group and made some good friends there. I was a fairly good student (some A's, mostly B's and C's). I spent a lot of time with friends, going to movies, attending our local Youth Group, and driving around in our cars. I worked during the summers at a few different jobs (as a lifeguard, caddy, and at Blockbuster Video) to pay for gas, car insurance, and a little spending money. I did struggle somewhat through my college career, changing majors halfway through my junior year and attending Illinois State University for a total of five years. Graduating college with a Bachelors Degree in History with a minor in Business did not immediately set me on a defined career path, but I did get my first job in what I now know would be my career, Managed Health Care Contracting. I started this career path as a way to make money, being my first "real job" but have found it very enjoyable and something that I am good at doing. I enjoy the challenge of negotiating one-on-one with another person, making quick decisions, and the variety of different people that I interact with on a daily basis. I work with a diverse group of people, ranging from other contractors at insurance companies to Presidents and CEO's of major hospital systems and insurance companies with contracts valued in the tens of millions of dollars. I am currently employed in a management position with a large group of orthopaedic surgeons.

About Jack and our family life
Amy JoeWhat can we say about Jack? We always knew being parents would be wonderful and it is! We also feel it is an honor to be chosen to be someone parents, and that we take our role as parents even more seriously. Jack is a wonderful child! He is shy at first, but then very outgoing and talkative. He is very well mannered, active, happy, and loving. He is very intelligent - he started talking very young and hasn't stopped since. He's extremely inquisitive and eager to learn about the world around him. We have always been very active with him - playing with him, talking to him, teaching him things, etc. He is also a great help to both of us around the house, gladly helping us the the daily tasks of home life, with everything from helping with dishes, laundry, even wanting to help Daddy outside in the yard. We also work on letters, shapes, sounds and colors through games, puzzles, and reading, all of which he asks for specifically on a daily basis. Our cat Micky has been with us since we were married. Micky has adjusted very well to having Jack around and is very patient when Jack pets him or chases him around the house. Jack loves to feed him and play fetch with him. We both believe that our kid(s) come first. We love being parents and can't wait for another baby/child to love. We have always known that we wanted two children and are very eager to adopt again. Jack can't wait to be a big brother! He prays every night for God to bring him a "baby" We pray that we are blessed again soon too.

We have set up our work schedules so that Jack (and any future children) will only need daycare three days a week for a total of about 25 hours per week. My job allows me to set up my own hours. I currently works Tuesdays and Thursdays 11-9, Wednesdays 10-5 and Saturdays 8-3. So, I am home with Jack on Mondays and Fridays - our "Mommy/Jack Days." Joe works Monday through Friday 8-5, so he picks Jack up from daycare and they have their "Daddy/Jack time." On Saturdays they often go to Home Depot together or run each other ragged playing. We all go to church together on Saturday and we love our Sundays together as a family! We enjoy lots of activities together that day, like doing yard work, playing games, sports in the backyard, going to the zoos, etc. Our church is a non-denominational, contemporary Christian church. We really love the worship music and the message. Our church has a great kids' program called "Kid City" that Jack can attend too. He usually stays with us, but has gone a few times. We are encouraging him to go. They have a similar lesson as the adults, just on their level. The campus we attend is small and we really get the opportunity to get to know people there. It's very comfortable for me since I grew up in a small town. Since reconnecting with our faith (we both grew up Catholic), I have joined a women's small group, started daily devotionals every morning and prayers every evening. I also purchased some Christian music that I enjoy listening to in my car. Jack likes it too ( he actually request is) and sings along.

Amy JoeOur outside activities are very child-focused. Jack and I have taken several Mommy/Child classes at the park district , and attend story time at the library on Friday mornings. Joe plans to enroll in a soccer class with him there in the future. We have play dates with friends several times per month and frequently visit the Children's museums, the local zoos, and petting zoos/pumpkin farms in the fall. We are also very fortunate to live in a new neighborhood in the western suburbs of Chicago that is full of kids. (We had 20 kids under age 4 at Jack's 3rd birthday party, with many babies on the way.) We get together with neighbors several times a week, especially when the weather is warm. You'll often see a parade of wagons, trikes, and strollers making laps around our block. We have a large backyard complete with a wooden playset and patio and our subdivision has bike paths, lakes and parks. We live in one of the top-rated school districts in the state with brand new elementary, junior and high schools nearby. As a couple, we try to go out for dinner alone or with friends every month or two. Joe's parents love keeping Jack for overnight visits. You'll also find us sitting outside talking on summer nights after Jack is in bed for the evening, or watching CSI or 24. We do most everything together as a family, including landscaping; going for walks, going out to dinner, running errands, etc.

Our hopes for the future
Our children will always know their adoption stories and the wonderful way we became a family. We are not sure how much openness you desire, but feel free to share with us as much information about yourself as you feel comfortable doing. We welcome the opportunity to meet with you in person prior to and after placement. If you want letters, pictures and visits, we would be happy to share these things with you because we see the benefits for everyone involved, especially the child. We'll raise our children in much the same way we were raised: with a positive outlook towards life, lots of love and encouragement, and abundant hugs and kisses. We will guide and nurture them to grow, think, and become their unique and special selves. We will encourage them to participate in any activities that suit their interests and will be there to cheer them on! Joe dreams of coaching his children's soccer teams, teaching them to build models, swim, and shoot pool. I love using my creative side to make crafts, bake, and play make-believe. We really work as a parenting team and are both very involved in our son's care and recreation. Our tag-team action will help balance our time and attention between two children when a new baby joins our family.

Adoption is a precious gift. We want you to know that if you choose to place your baby with us, we will always be fully aware of the magnitude of the gift you have given us. We realize that you have a difficult decision to make and we respect the time you are taking to make it. We wish you and your child the best whatever decision you make and pray that you find peace in it. Thank you for taking the time to get to know a little bit about us. If you choose us as the parents of your baby, know that our child will always understand the love and consideration you gave to their adoption plan. We hope there is a special reason that our letter found it way to you.

If you would like more information please contact Sunny Ridge Family Center.

From our hearts to yours,

Joe, Amy, & Jack


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