Families Waiting to Adopt - Michelle and Tom

Dear Birthmother,

First and foremost, we would like to thank you for taking the time to review our profile. We understand how difficult and trying this process must be. At the same time the adoption process, if decided upon, can bring such happiness into another family’s life. Your selfless act can be the greatest gift that we could ever receive and we would be honored and blessed throughout our lives. We hope that this letter will help you understand a little more about us and please know that we admire your courage and strength.

Tom’s Childhood…
 I was very fortunate to have a wonderful childhood in a large family. I grew up on the Southside of Chicago with seven siblings. I have three older brothers, two older sisters, and two younger sisters, which makes me the sixth child. Our family is a very tight knit group, which is not always the case in a family of this size. My brothers and sisters range from 27 to 51 years old and we just have a blast when we get together, but first let me speak about the two awesome individuals that brought us into this life. It’s amazing what my wonderful parents have provided for all eight of us, which is heritage/ faith/ respect, etc…-and I can go on, but at the end of the day it was always family. This structure was acquired through the environment that my parents and our Catholic parish provided us. My mom was a stay at home mom and my dad worked for a private steel company. I was always involved with every sport that came into season and we always were extremely busy with extra-curricular activity in the neighborhood. My parents would take us on family vacations in the big blue van and it was special to go visit cousins in surrounding states. We would go to my uncle’s resort in Arkansas and go fishing, swimming, and all sorts of outdoor activity. My grandmother also had a home near Lake Michigan in Indiana that we frequented.

The grammar school days were great and now it was time to decide on a high school. A good portion of my friends and I chose to go to the same Catholic High School on the Southside of Chicago after we exhausted our grammar school years with fun. High School was great to meet a lot of the guys that you played sports against in previous years, only now you’re going to the same school. This was a great growing process both academically and socially. The main interest that I took on in High School was the sport of swimming and water polo. We won the State Championship several years in a row, which helped pave the way to my next endeavor of college. I went on to a state school before transferring to Pennsylvania to continue playing water polo.

Overall, my childhood was filled with love and excitement that I cherish to this day. I am fortunate to have had the family, friends, and environment that I was exposed to during my early years. The sporting activities and travel have added much excitement from yearly vacations to competitive sporting events. My parents still live in the house that we grew up in and we celebrate holidays with everybody to this day, including all of the twenty plus nieces and nephews.

Michelle’s Childhood…
I was born and raised in a northern suburb of Illinois. I was primarily raised by my mother, as my parents decided to divorce when I was 7 years old. I have one sibling, my brother Erik, who has played a key role in my life not only as my big brother but as a father figure at times. Separately, my parents provided for us and established their individual relationships with us.  Growing up in a single parent home had its challenges, but I have to commend my mother for working as hard as she did to provide for my brother and me.  Seeing her heartfelt efforts to provide a safe and loving home really taught us to appreciate what we had and work hard for what we wanted out of life.

Our childhood home was located next door to my Aunt & Uncle’s home, with their 3 children. My cousins were a bit older than me but the attention I received as the baby of the family was great!! I would describe the neighborhood as a very family oriented place to live. Many of the families that lived in the neighborhood were larger with many children close in age to my brother and me. We spent many summer nights playing games of “kick the can” or “hide and go seek” in the backyards. My brother and his friends were big into their toys such as bikes, skateboards, and motorcycles. My friends and I use to enjoy watching them ride and do all their tricks. Our home was a favorite of the neighborhood as our backyard housed a large swimming pool that many of the children enjoyed.  

Not long after my parents divorced we moved to a smaller home where my brother and I finished our schooling. We both choose not to attend college and began our careers. With my father’s guidance my brother became an electrician, the same career as my fathers. I held various jobs at multiple companies doing such things as a day care counselor, administrative assistant, and a children’s dental assistant. It wasn’t until 1996 when I began working at a reputable Healthcare Company as a Business Analyst. Both my brother and I continue in these same fields today. 
Our small family has grown with the addition of Tom, my brother’s wife, and my precious niece who is 9. We enjoy celebrating the holidays and many summer BBQ’s together. We all live within miles from each other. This allows us to get together often.  

Our Journey Together…
This great journey actually started years before we began dating. We first met through mutual friends just after college. Through their courtship we saw each other socially over the years and later stood up in their wedding together. Our paths crossed again when we were both living in downtown Chicago. From that day forward we became inseparable and began our 4 years of dating. We were married in January 2005 in the midst of a blizzard. All the inches of snow falling outside could not stop all of our family and friends from sharing this special day with us. It was an amazing day filled with so much love, and support. 

Shortly after our wedding we began our search for our first home. We were very eager to start a family and wanted to find the perfect home to start raising children. At the time Tom was working for a Chicago based distributor of fine wine and spirits. And I was working for a reputable healthcare company in Deerfield, IL. Our search led us to a suburb close to the chain of lakes of Illinois. It’s here that we purchased a home in a beautiful rural setting. Our area provides a wide range of activities for families such as state parks, ski hills, and water sports such as kayaking on the numerous lakes in the area.

Our Pup…
An addition to our family is our playful pup named Augie. Augie loves everyone he meets and is loved by many. He will greet you with a wagging tail and lots of kisses. He’s known by some of the walkers in the neighborhood as they call out to him as they conduct their daily walks. Augie is extremely gentle with babies that have come for visits. He allows them to crawl all over him and tug on his ears. Augie looks forward to having a new brother or sister to cuddle with and to make sure they are safe.  

Our Faith…
Tom was baptized and raised Catholic throughout his entire life. He has attended Catholic grammar school and high school, and is practicing through his parish to this day. Michelle grew up non-denominational, but has been embracing the Catholic faith by participating with Tom. Together we are growing in the faith and enjoy all of the aspects that help us to become better people. We plan to become more involved with the church as we try to grow our family and create a healthy, loving structure moving forward.

Michelle’s thoughts about Tom…
Tom is the most loyal, genuine, loving person that has come into my life. I speak for all of his family and friends when I say that he treats everyone with respect and would do anything for you. He’s a devoted husband, son, brother and friend to many. The values that his wonderful parents have shown him have carried into my life and he truly has shown me the importance of family and having a faith that will carry you through life. It’s such a wonderful feeling knowing that I’ve married my best friend. I’m blessed to have him as my husband, my partner, and my friend through good times and bad.

Tom’s thoughts about Michelle…
“You’ll know it when it happens.” That is the statement that I’ve heard for so many years, but didn’t quite understand it, until I built my relationship with Michelle. Michelle has such a compassionate heart and takes the time to see the good in everyone. Michelle takes care of me in my weaknesses and loyally stands by me in my challenges. Her unselfish personality is reflected through myself, family, friends, co-workers, and more… despite whether it is deserved. The love and friendship that Michelle and I have for each other will be a joy to share the rest of our lives.

Our struggles with infertility...
Prior to getting married we both knew that starting a family was a priority for us and that we would start trying to conceive shortly after our wedding. Our attempts to conceive a child consumed our lives for the first 4 of the 5 years of our marriage. We so desperately wanted a child to love and nurture, but our attempts continued to fail. We were able to conceive with 2 of the 4 cycles however, the pregnancies failed shortly after conception. These years were filled with heavy emotion and were extremely stressful. If anything good could come out of such a difficult time it would be that it brought us so much closer. Our strength was each other and when one of us was down the other found a way to pick the other one up and move on. The decision to adopt was natural.

A typical day in our home…
Every day in our home is bound to be different and new. It is early to work for both of us and when we get home it has to be undivided attention for Augiedog. Tom is now working for a winery that is based out of Lodi, CA. He manages twelve states in the Midwest, which causes some out of town travel. It is a family owned winery that we have really grown close with and look forward to the future ahead. Michelle is currently working at a healthcare company, but looks forward to becoming a stay-at-home mom when we parent. Tom looks forward to the hugs and kisses when he gets home from work and hearing about the exciting things that happened that day. The idea of dropping everything at once to coach T-Ball or go to a ballet recital, then home for a family dinner completes the ideal day at our home. When the weekends come around, it will be time to pack up the car and go see the cousins at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, which is like a campout on its own. We look forward to being involved within our parish functions and continuing to grow within the great neighborhood we live in. We hope everyday is not typical and when we go to sleep, we pray the Lord our soul to keep.

Our Thoughts on Adoption…
It wasn’t that long ago that we thought we knew what adoption entailed. Our eyes opened when Sunny Ridge taught us about open adoption. The courageous decisions to give the best possible life to children so innocent and the gifts that loving couples receive in the process, this is how great people can be. We were timid at the idea of openness, but we feel it is because we do not know what it can actually mean. Like anything in life, you really have to take it one day at a time and make the best decisions you can. That philosophy depends on the people involved and when there are the right intentions from both ends, it makes a perfect mesh.
   

For more information please contact Sunny Ridge Family Center.

Sincerely,

Michelle and Tom

Back to Waiting Families