Families Waiting to Adopt - Jen and Mark

Hello! We are Mark and Jen and we are honored to be given the opportunity to tell you a little about ourselves - past, present and the dreams for our future. Perhaps our dreams are the same ones you have for your child as well.

Mark before Jen
I grew up in the same house in Calumet City, Illinois, until I went away to college. My parents are just about the perfect couple. They have been married for 46 years. They are loving, giving people who have really shaped me into the person that I am today. My mother stayed home and raised me, my brother, and my 2 sisters. She was always there for us and very involved with our activities. My mom sacrificed so much time for us, whether it was driving us to school, volunteering as a teacher’s aide, or helping us with homework. My mother instilled in each of us a sense of respect for authority, especially parents and teachers. My mom is an amazing cook and baker and she loves spoiling her grandkids. My father worked at the same company his entire life. When my dad was home from work, we played with him quite a bit and he would always entertain us. My dad taught me patience and fairness. My father has been the best role model for me and is the type of man and father I would like to be. Both of my parents are very religious and stressed the importance of faith and church. My parents are so generous, supportive and loving. I am very blessed to have them.

I am very close to my brother and sisters. My brother, Mike, is 9 years older than me and he has one son, Nick, who is 13. Nick is my godson and we have a very strong bond. Nick loves talking to me about movies and wants to be a filmmaker some day.

My older sister, Susie, has two children, Jimmy (12) and Julia (9). My younger sister, Margie, has two young children. Haley is 2 and she’s my goddaughter. Haley’s brother is Hunter, who is just 9 months old. We are very fortunate that all of my immediate family live in northwest Indiana and the southwest suburbs. We try to get together with them 1-2 times a month, usually for Sunday dinners. Jen and I love seeing our nieces and nephews and getting to play with them as the “fun” aunt and uncle. They are very anxious to have a new cousin to play with, too!

Some of my favorite memories growing up include going on family vacations each year. We took trips to Virginia, Walt Disney World, and Boston. However, most years we would go up to Great America and stay at a hotel for the weekend. My siblings and I had a blast swimming in the hotel pool and the whole family would ride the water rides at the park together.  

As a kid I enjoyed playing wiffle ball, riding bikes, building forts, drawing maps, and building model rockets. I dreamed of being an astronaut, actor, or, eventually, a lawyer. Our family went to church every Sunday and prayers were always said at Sunday family dinners. I was always a good student in school. In high school I played tennis, sang in the choir and became involved in theater. My best friends to this day are the friends I made in grade school and high school. 

I went to college in 1993 at St. Joseph’s College in Rensselaer, Indiana, and received a bachelor’s degree in business. I wanted a small, religious college that was not too far from home. St. Joe’s was a little over an hour away from home, so I was able to come back on weekends several times during the year. I was heavily involved in choir, theater, campus ministry, and mock trial. During my sophomore year I was asked to be a leader on a Kairos retreat at SJC. It was there that I met Jennifer.

Jen before Mark
I was born in Norfolk, Virginia, but we moved a lot while I was growing up. I lived in North Carolina and Texas from the ages of 3-12. In 1988, we moved to Indiana, where my parents are from and still live today. I was raised as an only child, but I have an older sister and brother from my father's first marriage. My brother, Kevin, is 4 years older than me and lives in Utah with his wife, Jennifer, and 4 children: Ashleigh (12), Meghan (10), Christian (7) and Jensen (5). My sister, Tami, is 12 years older than me and lives in Texas with her husband, David, and 3 sons: Miguel (17), Nico (14) and Austin (12). Although there is a big difference in our ages, I am closest to my sister and her family. We are only able to see each other every couple of years, so we keep in touch as best we can between visits and have remained close despite the miles between us.

Most of my “coming of age” years were spent in Indiana. To this day my 2 best friends are girls I met on the first day of school in the 7th grade. I am godmother to one of their sons, Micah, who I couldn’t love any more if he were my own. He will turn 1 in September. I was a very good student in school. My favorite subjects were Math, English and Science. I took several years of baton and dance classes in Texas and was a cheerleader in Jr. High, but I chose to join the marching band when I reached high school. My parents were always very supportive of my activities and attended all of my competitions and performances.

Some of my favorite memories growing up are of our family traditions. We always took a family road trip once a year. Often our destination was Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia because we lived so close. Christmastime holds many special memories for me as well. Unfortunately, my father doesn’t have many happy memories of Christmas from his childhood, so he vowed to make Christmas a special holiday for his family, and he really has. There were often surprise gifts that would be hidden somewhere in the house and we would open presents all day, not because there were so many, but because my father wanted to make the day last. What I treasure most, however, was the time we spent together, even when it was just the three of us. We always had a “real” tree that we would often cut down ourselves at a local Christmas tree farm. When I was 6 years old, my parents took me to a performance of the Nutcracker ballet. This started the tradition of us seeing a performance of the Nutcracker every year. In recent years we’ve expanded the tradition to include other shows like the “Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular”. We’ve only missed a show twice in 27 years. My parents can’t wait to continue this tradition with their future grandchildren.

Even today my relationship with my parents is something I cherish. We talk on the phone once a week and try to see each other once a month. My mom is one of my best friends and we email each other daily. She still calls me “baby girl”. My father and I are very close as well. I am still very much “daddy’s little girl”. Although he has two other children, he and I have a special bond because he raised me and he didn’t have that opportunity with my brother and sister. His nickname for me is “Sweetest of Peas”. We are a very affectionate family and love to make each other laugh. My parents have been an inspiration to me in many ways. They are very loving, sensitive and generous with their time and talents. They have instilled in me the importance of having strong morals and values; to always “look on the bright side” and to put others’ needs ahead of my own. Their encouragement and support, especially over the last several years, has meant the world to me. I am hoping that my parents will be able to move to Illinois in the next couple of years. Having them live so close would be such a blessing. This is especially important to me since I didn’t grow up near my grandparents and therefore did not have as strong of a bond with them as I want for my children.

Becoming “Mark & Jen”
We met on a Kairos retreat in October of 1994 while attending St. Joseph's College in Indiana. Mark was a retreat leader and Jen was a retreatant. We talked to each other a few times throughout the weekend, but when Mark gave the last talk on “Love In Action”, Jen knew that he was a very special person that she wanted to get to know better. The retreat was only 3 days long, but Mark took the time to get to know each of the 40+ people who were on the retreat well enough to tell everyone specifically how he/she is God’s “Love in Action” in the world. Mark remembers right away thinking there was something very special about Jen, and that she was so genuine, so much fun, so beautiful, and so easy to talk to. Mark’s talk capped off what was a very powerful and inspirational weekend. Little did we know just how life-changing that retreat would be for us. When we got back to campus, we began to spend more time together with other friends we met on the retreat and our friendship grew.

In December of 1994, we went with a large group of students to see “Les Miserables” in Chicago. We had purchased the tickets separately before the retreat, so it was a nice surprise to learn that we would both be part of this trip. We each secretly hoped to sit next to each other, but it didn't work out. On our way to the theater, Mark put his arms out to protect Jen as we crossed the busy street. It was a simple gesture, but it was at that moment that we both fell in love. When we returned from Christmas break a few weeks later, we began dating and 16 years later we're more in love than ever.

We knew very early in our relationship that without a doubt this was the "real deal". We are soul mates and we shared our dreams and made plans for our life together after college. Mark had always wanted to be a lawyer and began law school in 1997. When Jen graduated from college in 1998 she moved back home with her parents and worked for St. Mary's College. On December 11, 1998 (the anniversary of the date we saw the performance of “Les Miserables” together), Mark proposed in front of Jen’s parents’ Christmas tree while our favorite song from the musical played in the background.

We had a long engagement as we decided to wait to get married until Mark graduated from law school. Mark graduated from Valparaiso Law School in May of 2000 and we were married October 7, 2000 in the chapel at St. Joseph's College since that was where it all began. We had a very personal, non-denominational ceremony and we wrote our own vows. It was a beautiful day and by far the best day of our lives. When we returned from our honeymoon in Hawaii, Jen moved into the apartment with Mark in Naperville.

Why Adoption?
This year we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary. The last 10 years have been full of fun and lots of laughter, but there have been plenty of tears too. We admit that if it was up to us, we would be parents by now. While it is difficult at times, we whole-heartedly believe that God's timing is perfect and parenthood will come when the time is right. We humbly surrender to His plan for us and our family.

Our journey to parenthood began in 2004 when we decided that we were ready to start a family. We knew we would have a difficult time conceiving because Jen suffered from stage 4 endometriosis. We underwent infertility treatment for about a year without success and then it was no longer safe for Jen’s health to undergo additional procedures. In 2008, Jen had a total hysterectomy which permanently closed the door on the possibility of having children biologically. Even while actively trying to conceive, our desire was always simply to be parents. Because we knew there was a strong possibility the infertility treatments would be unsuccessful, we had already discussed building our family through adoption.

In 2005, we attended several information sessions at Sunny Ridge. We narrowed down our choices to adopting through either their domestic or China program. In 2006, we decided to apply to Sunny Ridge's China Adoption program. It has always been our hope to have more than one child so it was our intention to pursue a domestic adoption for our second child at a later date. We learned long ago that the destiny of our family is beyond our control and in God’s hands. While we still hope to complete our Chinese adoption someday, after a lot of prayers and several discussions, we believe it is God’s plan for our family for our first child to come to us by way of domestic adoption. We are so excited about the possibility of welcoming you and your child into our family and our hearts. We realize our situation is unique and welcome any questions you may have.

Our Faith
We would not have been able to survive this long and winding road to parenthood (or other trials over the years) if it wasn’t for our faith. While Jen wasn’t raised in the church throughout her early childhood, she and her parents joined a Christian church when they moved to Indiana. She was baptized as a baby in the Methodist church, but decided to get re-baptized in the spring of her freshman year of college as a sign of her renewed faith (which was also influenced by the Kairos retreat). Mark was raised Catholic, but as our relationship grew, we decided that once we were married we would find a Christian church to join and raise our family. We currently attend a non-denominational Christian church in the area. It is a diverse church that is very involved in the community and we feel very comfortable there. There are a lot of young families so there are many activities for children. It is vitally important to us that our children are brought up to have a strong faith and feel part of a church community.

Our Dog – Sasha
We have one dog. Her name is Sasha. She is an 8 year old Chow-Chow and Golden Retriever mix. We adopted her from a shelter in 2007. Sasha loves people and is very gentle and patient with children.  She loves to chase tennis balls and sit on our back stoop and watch over the backyard. She is silly and playful and has provided us with some good practice on how to be parents. Sasha has also provided us with plenty of comfort through our struggles with infertility.  

Work and childcare plans
Mark works as an attorney at a mid-size law firm in Naperville. He enjoys his job, especially learning about new cases and getting to argue a new area of the law in court. Mark works very close to home and has flexibility in his hours which will allow him to be there for important events in the lives of our children. Jen enjoys her job as a secretary for a not-for-profit agency that provides services for children and adults with autism and other developmentally disabilities, but for several years now her “dream job” has been to be a stay at home mom. When that dream becomes a reality, Jennifer plans to stay at home and raise our children.

Our Home and Neighborhood
In 2002, we bought a house in Aurora. It is 25 years old, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Our home is cozy and comfortable, but we have been waiting for our family to grow so we can convert one of the bedrooms into a nursery. Our backyard is completely fenced and will allow plenty of room for our children to play. We live in a quiet, diverse neighborhood. Our neighborhood is fairly young too, with many small children around and the elementary school is within walking distance of our home. We are fortunate to live in the Naperville school district, so our children will attend some of the best schools in the state.

Daily Life
We have a wonderful marriage. We are extremely supportive of each other, we make each other laugh, and (although it sounds cliché) we really do complete each other. We are both very well-rounded in regards to our interests. We are just as happy taking in a White Sox game as a Broadway show. We love watching movies as well as football, baseball and college basketball games. Jen enjoys reading and crafty hobbies like rubber stamping and scrapbooking. She also likes working logic puzzles, jigsaw puzzles and building/assembling things. Jen is actually looking forward to putting together all of our children's toys! Mark enjoys golf, baseball, reading, listening to sports radio, and singing. Mark likes to journal as a way to relax. He has been recording our journey to parenthood in hopes of sharing it with our children someday. We both love to travel and have taken some wonderful trips together. In addition to our wonderful honeymoon in Hawaii, our favorite vacations have been to Florida (especially Disney World!), the Grand Tetons in Wyoming and most recently a Caribbean cruise with Jen’s parents last year.

We can’t wait to add more family-oriented activities to our list of interests. We’re looking forward to making family outings to the park and zoo; taking our children to their first White Sox baseball and Notre Dame football games; going to Disney World; attending school programs, plays, recitals and/or sporting events; and sharing all of our Christmas traditions with them and perhaps starting some new ones of our own. Jen can’t wait to read bedtime stories, play games, camp out in the backyard and make play dates with her stay at home mom friends and their children. Mark is looking forward to teaching sports to our kids, family dinners, pushing a stroller around the neighborhood in the evening, going on ice cream runs, and having even more smiles and laughter in our home. We are also dedicated to raising our children to be confident, compassionate and respectful individuals. We will support and encourage them in all of their interests and aspirations. We will teach them the important Christian values that our parents instilled in us. We want them to be generous and kind to others, so that they too can be God’s “Love in Action” in the world.

Openness
We are hoping to have an open adoption. We would like the child to know you and that you acted out of love. We would love to send you pictures and letters if that is something you are comfortable receiving. We hope you will be open to staying in touch with us and developing a relationship that will grow through the years. You will always be a part of our lives, but we will be respectful to your wishes as to the level of openness and your relationship with our family.

Thank you for taking the time to read our profile. We are very excited about becoming parents through adoption and we sincerely appreciate you considering us. We have so much love to share and we hope that we were able to give you some insight as to the type of home and family life that we could provide for your child. We will be praying for you and hope that you receive comfort in knowing that you are making a beautiful choice on behalf of your child. We wish you all the best through this process and hope that we get the chance to meet you.

For more information please contact Sunny Ridge Family Center.

Blessings,

Mark and Jen

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