Adoption: The Best Decision for My Baby

Tiana's Story

A “plus” sign. That was how it all started. It’s amazing how a little plus sign can completely change your life. There was the shock, the denial and finally the crying because the realization was finally beginning to set in. I was a single, 24 year-old woman about to have another baby.

In the days when I first found out I was pregnant, I was so scared. What was I supposed to do?

Unfortunately, the birth father did not want to be involved in the pregnancy so I felt alone. I lived away from my family and I didn’t have many friends who lived in the area. Even though everyone was very supportive of me, when night fell I was alone in my thoughts. My baby was growing inside of me and although I should have felt joy, most of the time I just tried to have the courage to get through each day. In the evening I would call my family to cry and express my concerns. I wanted what was best for my baby, but I knew that I could not provide everything that I wanted for her. I was already raising a two year old alone.

In order to give her the life that I wanted her to have, I started looking into adoption agencies. I wanted to make sure I found the perfect adoption counselor so I set up meetings with three different agencies. All of the agencies ultimately provided the same service but I was drawn to Sunny Ridge because of their warm and caring approach. I wanted an agency and a counselor who understood my needs. When I first met with my adoption counselor, she put me at ease and gave me hope. She let me just talk and tell her about everything I wanted for my child.

One of my biggest concerns with Sunny Ridge was that I lived so far away from the agency. I didn’t have a car and I lived in the city, so although I wanted to work with Sunny Ridge, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to. I expressed my concerns to my social worker and she immediately told me that it was no problem for her to come into the city and meet me.

In the weeks that followed, my social worker and I would meet regarding the adoption. She took care of all the paperwork and met with the birth father, because she knew it was difficult for me. I was trying my best to get through each day. It was so helpful to have her support and take some of the burden off of my shoulders.

Most of the time we met in the city, but I also went to Sunny Ridge for their birth parent support group. It was such a relaxing environment where we could hear each other’s stories and know that through it all, we were not alone. Although we all came from different walks of life, ultimately we shared the same fears as well as the same hopes for our children’s futures.

We discussed the options between parenting and adoption and weighed the pros and cons of each. Although I wanted to keep her, because I loved her, I could not parent another child. I wanted her to have parents who were able to provide everything that she needed. In the back of my head, though, the nagging question was always “how could I find parents that would give her everything that she deserved and love her as much as I loved her?” But somehow I knew in my heart that everything would work out as it should.

When I met with my social worker, I always talked about an open adoption. I wanted to have an arrangement where I was able to see my daughter and she would know who I was. I wanted to make sure that she knew I loved her and would always love her.

When I started to look at families, I was immediately drawn to Charles and Deborah. People have asked me what drew me to them and I give them many reasons, but deep down I know that there really was only one reason: when I met them, I felt at peace. I knew that these were the parents that I wanted for my baby.
In the weeks that followed, Charles, Deborah, and I met to get to know each other more. Throughout this time, I was continually meeting with my social worker and she reminded me that no matter how much I like Deborah and Charles, in the end it was my choice. I decided to take three days after Whitney’s birth to spend time with her. After those three days, I would make my decision.

When Whitney was finally born, I looked at her face and was so in love with her. I never wanted to take my eyes off of her. The social worker came to the hospital to see how I was feeling. Through tears I told her how in love I was with Whitney. She was perfect in every way and I knew that she was going to do amazing things in this world.

On the morning of the placement, I packed Whitney’s things and headed to Sunny Ridge. When the moment came to place Whitney into Deborah’s arms, even though it was the most difficult decision of my life, I felt at peace. I knew that all of those long nights trying to make the best decision for her had paid off. I was appreciative of the preparation and support I received from family, friends and Sunny Ridge. She would always be my daughter, but now she had the parents that I had always wanted for her.

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