Robin's Story: I Was Determined To Give My Child Life

I am a 20-year-old woman who, two years ago, made the very difficult decision of placing my child’s life in the hands of a couple who, I felt, could provide for and guide through life better than I was able to do at the time.

At the age of 17, I discovered that I was pregnant. I was very unhappy in my relationship with my boyfriend. I was a junior in high school and living with my divorced mother.

My expectation was that my family would support me and help, no matter what I chose to do. This was not the case. After a very emotional discussion, my mother advised me to get an abortion because, as she put it, "Adoption will ruin your life."

I had not even considered terminating my pregnancy. I was determined to give my child life—the best life it could have.

Counseling started soon after my initial visit to Sunny Ridge, and continued throughout my pregnancy and beyond. I felt I had complete control and was not pushed to make any decision that I wasn’t ready to make. This guidance turned out to be an invaluable service.

Shortly after my boyfriend’s return into my life, he took a semi-active role as father of our unborn child but still denied total responsibility. So we started the arduous task of choosing the proper family. Our criteria were almost impossible to meet.

We chose to review the profiles separately and compile a list of the advantages and disadvantages of each couple. We each picked the family we felt was most suitable. Interestingly enough, we both chose the same couple. The whole process took about two months. It was the second hardest decision I had to make.

My son was born two weeks late. If I had to do it again I would have asked my chosen couple to attend labor and delivery. It would have been very special for them I’m sure. That experience would have created such a strong bond between all of us.

The next four days were the best and the worst. I saw my little boy about five hours after he was born. I hesitated to see and hold him, not because I thought I would change my mind, but because I knew how much it would hurt to say good-bye. My baby and I spent all the time we could together. I thought of our time together as priceless. I did my best to cram a lifetime into those few days in the hospital.

The night before I was to be discharged, I said my good-byes. This was the most emotional time of my life.

Morning came and I signed "the papers." I was terrified, but I knew in my heart that this was the right thing to do.

Honestly, the first nine months following the placement were terrible. The emptiness lingered. Every time I saw a baby I felt a part of me die. I cried for my son many times but knew that it was best for him to say with his new parents.

A package arrived for me about two months after he was born. It contained a gift and a letter from the adoptive parents. They wrote me a beautiful letter thanking me for giving him life and entrusting his life to them. It’s something I cherish very much. Ever since then, we have been corresponding.

My boyfriend and I did meet the adoptive parents. It was a wonderful opportunity to really get to know them. I had no doubt that my son was happy and very well taken care of. They send pictures of my son, which I love to receive.

Adoption was the best thing for everyone involved and contrary to my mother’s belief, it didn’t ruin my life, it enhanced it. I have gone on to become a happy and fulfilled "mother with child."

One day I hope to meet my son again and have him meet his half brother. I expect that our reunion will be a happy one.

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