Adoption: My Beautiful Granddaughter

A Birth Grandmother's Adoption Story

It was seven years ago. My eldest daughter, who was just completing her sophomore year at college, at the age of 20—had just told me she was pregnant. Of course, she wasn’t married, and this certainly had not been planned. I sat down, tears running down my cheeks. What would happen now? How could I tell my fiancé? Or my 77 year-old mother? Or my younger daughter? Or my extended family, friends, and co-workers? So many emotions washed over me—fear for her future, disappointment, embarrassment, humiliation, devastation. Hadn’t I raised her better?

After a great deal of turmoil and upset for the next months, my daughter, who after thoroughly researching her options and discussing her situation with family, friends, and numerous professionals, decided mid-way through her fifth month to place her child for adoption. It had been an extremely difficult decision for her, but after the eventual break-up with the baby’s father, the fact that I could not bring myself to raise another child (after all, I was no longer a “spring chicken” and I had essentially raised my children alone), and her own situation at that time, we believed this would be the best decision for the sake of her unborn child. My daughter had decided upon an “open” adoption, rather than the “closed” adoption process of years ago. An “open adoption,” as I came to learn, meant that we could request to keep in touch with the adoptive family throughout our lives—we could know how the baby was growing up, that the baby was safe and happy, and that as the birth mother, my daughter could possibly remain a part of the baby’s life for the future. We called Sunny Ridge at the end of July and began meeting with a counselor to explore the many issues involved in making an adoption plan.

During the remainder of her pregnancy, my daughter diligently reviewed profiles of prospective adoptive parents (another part of the process), she made careful notes on the favorable traits of each family, and met the family she chose to raise her child. I know this scenario may sound strange to someone new to open adoption; it certainly did to me at first. It seemed so formal and business-like, when in fact, this was anything but business for us. Instead, this was a very personal and life-altering situation. However, having worked through much of the process, I am now grateful that my daughter was so insistent and persistent in wanting to pursue this option.

My daughter regularly attended the Birth Mother support group, while my fiance and I attended the Birth Grandparent group.

On the morning of November 17, my daughter went into labor. The labor and delivery seemed never-ending, and when my daughter finally delivered, we were there for her: the birth father who coached her through it; her father (my ex-husband) who had driven in from out-of-state; and I was there too, right beside the doctor. (My fiancé was awaiting word, along with some of my daughter’s friends, in the waiting room.) And, I was the first person to hold my beautiful, first granddaughter! It was a very moving moment—and she was perfect.

The very difficult days that followed are almost a blur. Then came the day of reckoning—the day my granddaughter would leave the hospital for a new home and a new family. My fiancé and I arrived at the hospital mid-afternoon that day, since my daughter had arranged to check out of the hospital after dinner that evening. Everyone was extremely tense and unspeakably sad. I changed my granddaughter’s diaper and dressed her in her “going away” outfit—she looked so sweet! The social worker from Sunny Ridge was there, and then her new adoptive parents arrived to take their daughter home. My daughter had presents set aside for the baby—things her friends and family had brought—and she had also gotten the baby a special gift just from her—the birth mom. We were all trying to be brave—but it was now time to say good-bye. They brought a wheelchair for my daughter and my teary-eyed fiancé wheeled her out of the room. I held my granddaughter close, kissed her, and with a breaking heart, placed her into the arms of her new mother, the woman who would raise her, and take care of her, and be there for her. With tears of joy her parents both thanked me and hugged me tight. I left—crying!

Our lives have continued and grown since then—my daughter recently graduated from college and is planning to pursue her Master’s degree. And gratefully, through the process of open adoption, we have maintained regular contact with this wonderful family. We have grown close over the past few years and are now called Grandma and Grandpa by two very special children (this wonderful couple had previously adopted a son)—we are also considered friends by their parents, which means so very much to us.

My daughter continues to be involved in the Sunny Ridge support group, receiving ongoing support, and helping other young women make their decisions. And as I watch my little granddaughter grow, I again take comfort and joy in the knowledge that my daughter chose life for the child who grew within her. She assumed the responsibilities that went along with the choice she had made one fateful night, and gave her daughter the gift of a family.

Back to Adoption Stories